Lily Allen:
Have you had any really bad job offers since you went on Strictly Come Dancing?
Alesha from Mystique:
Yeah, I’ve been asked to do lots of silly little things.
Category: Poetry
Shopkeepers think you’re on crack when…
You turn up at 3am every single morning and simply buy 17 packets of Chipsticks.
Every Saturday you buy a Lotto ticket because you’re ‘saving for a robotic lettuce’.
You spend each whole morning choosing chocolate, and never not go for a Wagon Wheel.
You call the police because your Chocolate Dip doesn’t have enough bread sticks.
He stops stocking Twisters so you hold an around the clock visual chanting ‘Why?’
Every visit, you pass him an envelope containing a fake Frank Bruno autograph.
For every step forward you make, you do a 360 degrees spin and mumble ‘I see you’.
You ask if he’s seen ‘that fork handles’ sketch and request five.
Mai & Clay
Should another
turn on to your course
like I,
they’ll warm in your glow,
for humble smiles of heart
in dusty paths of strangers
rarely arrive with
the pleasure
of compassionate company
so far from home.
Sophisti-text
“Everybody is taken and has morals now.
It is awful, is’t it!!
Console yourself with
the knowledge that one day you will be
taken and have morals too! :)” – Yee Wise Friend
Whitehall
the arches aren’t golden now
as the giant ‘m’ stretches
across near empty streets
where the night’s cleaners walk
and old giants watch on
as night buses spill passed
souls of the vacant night
that glides to a close
before the big wheel spins
over choking lights of fog
orphaned papers and thoughts
of oblivious crowds.