Establish elbow ownership of the arm rests before taking off. It’s near impossible to regain ground.
Don’t watch Chariots Of Fire on the in flight movie system. You’ll feel inspired to run and there’s nowhere to go.
The man with no shoes and socks who used a near flooded toilet before you was up to something. Tread carefully.
Whether you’re a Woody Allen fan or not, you’ll want to sleep. Just don’t expect to.
Closed eyes means ‘peanuts, please!’ to flight assistants. A blanket signifies a three course meal distributed more tiresomely than Matrix Reloaded and Revolution.
Post Orgasmic Chill by Skunk Anansie is superb. Where have all the bald women gone? Even Gail Porter’s back to fluff.
Try your best to ignore the family of holiday makers in front, counting down to returning home for a ‘real English curry’ having spent a fortnight beside a pool in Thailand.
No, you’ll probably never laugh so much at Friends again, until your next 15 hours overdose of recycled air.
When you see that same bare footed guy on your next trip to the toilet and the floor’s in a much worse state, tread even more carefully.
I know, just take a deep breath and let them do what they do. Hand luggage and ‘stay in your seat’ means different things to different people.